so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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