I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
