it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
