..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
