They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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