dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
