I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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