He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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