Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
