So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
