I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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