You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
