I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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