So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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