He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
