Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
