My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
