I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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