He uses pillows to masturbate.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize