I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
