His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
