There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
