He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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