It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
