Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
