I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize