It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
