I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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