If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
