grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
