Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
