Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
