dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
