there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
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My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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