well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
