What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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