I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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