Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
