Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize