Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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