I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
