with your own penis?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
