I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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