I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize