Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
