You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
