At least make sure they are 18
Why
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
