I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My cat gives me a boner
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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