No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
