New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
