I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
