You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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