So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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