i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
