sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
