I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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