Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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