Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
